Courtyard Confessions
by Shrimpy Kay
Summary: Sarah also had something to say at the end of 2.03. One-shot.


I saw this competition at lj, entered, and here's what I wrote. My own little twist for the end of 2.03.

Thanks to Natty for the beta

I am/was on a writing hiatus. I'm trying to fix that (it's like some insane kind of writer's block)

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Sarah walked into the courtyard, quickly spotting Chuck sitting at the fountain. This is the the perfect time, her mind told her. The perfect time to tell him how you feel. She wouldn't listen to the side of her mind telling her to stop, that telling him she was compromised was a mistake.

One step, two steps, almost there. About three feet away from him, she suddenly stopped, trying to prepare herself (as if she actually could). It was absurd thinking, that if she decided to turn back now, he wouldn't have heard her heels clicking with every step. Luckily, he was patient. Chuck waited for her to sit down before looking, giving her the chance to stare at his warm hazel eyes. She swallowed. "Hey."

"Hey," he responded, casual, yet she could tell that something was on his mind.

"Everything okay?" Sarah also tried to make the conversation as normal as possible, as if what she was about to say would be any less dramatic if there were pointless words before it.

"Yeah, yeah, just there's, um… I just had a couple of things I wanted to tell you before dinner."

"Yeah, me too."

She had an idea of what he was going to say. Chuck was expecting the rejection, expecting her to tell him that this was all a mistake as he begged for them to give their relationship a chance. That was why she had to go first. Sarah had to be the one this time to ask, to be put on the spot. It was important for her to get over this stage of fear, this fear of admitting her inner feelings. She wasn't going to use the L word, not yet, it was too soon. But she had to give him something. They both knew how deep their feelings ran for each other. After all, at their date, both had been ready to admit it. But for some reason, this was different. She wasn't planning on leaving for another assignment in a matter of days.

"Look," both started at the same time, and then shared an awkward laugh. But Sarah knew that she had to go first.

"I-I know things between us lately have been strange. Unfortunately, that's the life we lead. When I had that shot open, I should have taken it, it should've been easy. But it wasn't, Chuck. Because it wasn't just anyone who would get shot if I missed. It was you."

She took a deep breath. Okay, so far so good. He was looking at her with a serious expression, an unreadable expression. All she could do was continue. "What I'm saying is, I've been trying to fight it. Everything I've ever learned is trying to fight it, but I just can't. There's something about you that makes me do crazy things. Makes me hesitate at my job, re-think every move I make. And somehow, no matter what I'm thinking about, it all comes back to you. I thought that by fighting my feelings for you, I would be able to get past them and get the work done. But it's too late; I'm compromised. And I don't care as much as I thought I would. I want to give this relationship a chance."

She didn't look at his face for a reaction, instead leaning in to capture his lips with her own.

He didn't respond at first--Sarah pegged that as nervousness. But getting over it quickly, Chuck pulled her close, opening his mouth to her. They clung to each other while sitting at the fountain, and Sarah was confident that although this kiss beat the other two (real) ones, there would be even better ones in the future. As her hands fisted in his hair, she groaned, her heart soaring.

But then he pulled away, casting his eyes downward so that he couldn't be hypnotized by her eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I can't."

Four words broke Sarah's heart like a shattered mirror. Out of all the reaction she was expecting, this was not it. Hell, she was almost positive that he was going to beg her to give them a chance, and leap for joy when she said yes. But now, as he delivered words of apology on why they couldn't be together, she realized that she was just being selfish. Over and over he asked, only to be rejected. It was only time until he would realize that it wasn't worth it to keep chasing what seemed to be unattainable. And now she knew how he felt each time Sarah gave some half-hearted speech of the asset handler connection, which, even she knew, was bull. Listening to his reasoning of wanting a normal life, it was clear that his vision of a normal life did not include her, and she let a tear slip out. A single tear, and nothing else. If that was what he wanted, then that was what he would get.

--

Did I almost trick you there? Maybe. So it wasn't THAT creative... R&R welcome.


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